I don't know you anymore and I wonder now if I ever really did. I believed your whispered promises. The secrets your eyes shared as they gazed into mine. The hopes your caresses blossomed in me.

I know now it was all lies. Lies told on a whim of the moment. Everything you told me was a lie. And I hate you for that.

You came to me in moments of emotional need. And I gave you everything I had to soothe your pain. You took and took and took again until I had no more to give. Then you threw away all that was left of me.

An Empty Shell. A Soul Shattered. A Heart Unable To Trust Or Love. A Woman Without Self-Confidence And Without Pride In Who She Is Or Was. And I Hate You for That.

You hid me from those closest to you. Like a secret you were ashamed of. A dirty little secret you had to keep buried in the ground beneath your feet. And when I dared to rise from my shallow grave your anger was there to welcome me. Your screams filled my head echoing until I was so beaten down I fell back into my grave with relief to enter into the blessed numbness again.

I hated myself for being weak and unable to rise above your cruelty. I hated myself for the terror I felt at the thought of being alone again. You took away my self worth and made me a cowering child only wishing to please an angry adult. And I hate you for that.

Written & Copyright By Jesslan
14 March 2001